no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We need a shit load of segways right now
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
