ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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