I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
