I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
