Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
