i can't believe i had my finger in that
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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