So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
