so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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