Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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