Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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