I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
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