you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
