Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I love you. Go after that dick
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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