I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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