Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
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Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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