I cockslap morals
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
