Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Come see our sink grown plant.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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