Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
