:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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