I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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