What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
