you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
