i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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