at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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