The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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