Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
