the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
