apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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