Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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