Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He has the fingertips of a God
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
