you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
