I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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