So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
