im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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