Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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