A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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