dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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