big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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