quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
