I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
