over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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