chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
