you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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