Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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