Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
