You made me cry and you don't even care
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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