Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
