Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
