Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
