Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Randomize
