Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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