So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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