we have pet lesbian snakes
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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