this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
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