and she was petting her beer can
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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