glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
one might say we're banned from that church
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize