I look better un-naked...
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Randomize
