Where did you get a picture of my penis
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
