I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
