Already got asked if we're dating
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
sex in a hospital.. check
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
