As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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