If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
